How to Respond to a Narcissist Text?

Feel like you have been manipulated by a narcissist, but have no idea of what to say in response? We will teach you a couple of tricks!

Written by Kate Holmsy. Updated on How to Respond to a Narcissist Text

It is great when you can communicate only with those people who are nice to you and whom you truly enjoy talking to! However, life is a tricky thing, and sometimes we have to stay in touch with those who are far less friendly and sincere.

If you have to communicate with a narcissist, you will experience all the bad things about communication, believe it or not! Simply because such people can’t behave another way.

Naturally, if you have such people around you and you have to talk to them often enough, you might want to know how to respond to a narcissist text message.

So in this article, we will provide you with the examples of narcissist text messages first of all. Like this, you will be able to easily define whether a person you are texting is a narcissist or not.

Also, you will learn how to correctly respond to a message that a narcissist sent you to not allow him or her to make you feel frustrated or guilty (because that’s what these people like to do pretty much!).

Finally, we will provide you with the basic communication tips that will help you to talk to a narcissist person in a constructive way.

We do hope that, after you read this article, your communication will become better and calmer, and you will even be able to get rid of these “communication vampires” once and for all!

How to Respond to a Narcissist Text Message?

Receiving texts from a narcissist is often a challenge and sometimes even a torture! These people seem to enjoy playing with your feelings and emotions, making you feel guilty, frustrated, embarrassed, and so on. And since they are great manipulators, they know exactly what to say and how to say it to get the emotion they want from you.

Naturally, if you have been trapped in this “communication cage”, you will not be able to analyze the situation and respond calmly and correctly.

This is why we suggest you check out the phrases and replies that will work great as a response to a narcissist’s message. In addition, it is anyway useful to have a few such phrases at hand when you don’t know what to text back to a narcissist!

How to Respond to a Narcissist Text Message
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Ignore Their Messages

Rude, you might say? Believe us, it’s not! It’s better to ignore their text to protect yourself and give yourself relief. Follow the “no contact” rule and leave a narcissist’s text unanswered.

You will need to ignore any communication from a narcissist, that’s important! The best way to practice this method is to delete any text you receive. You can also block a narcissist’s phone number.

When you remove any way they can contact you, treat yourself to fun activities and good company

Ignore Their Messages
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Related: How to Respond When He Finally Texts You Back?

Answer With “Yes” Or “No” If You Can’t Quit the Communication

There might be different situations that make you stay in touch with a narcissist. For instance, if this person is your ex husband and you still have to communicate on certain parental topics, ignoring him will not be suitable.

Instead, simply give short replies to keep the conversation brief! Reduce how much you’ll say to a narcissist and how often you’ll communicate with him or her.

When you send a text that’s just one word, you can focus on details that matter to you and go on with the rest of your day.

Answer With “Yes” Or “No” If You Can’t Quit the Communication
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Related: How to Respond to Hey?

Express Your Boundaries When You Reply

Say what treatment you will accept to stand up for your needs. Tell the person if he or she can only text once a week or after work. You can also explain that you have a short amount of time for a conversation.

If you need to talk about facts and not opinions, share that, too. Express what’s best for you and give any rules you need them to follow to stay in contact with you.

Express Your Boundaries When You Reply
Credits: U.Ozel.Images via

Related: How to Respond to LOL?

Share Your Own Experiences If a Narcissist Writes You About Memories

Talk about events you remember and emphasize your point of view. Reply to a text with the narcissist perspective with your own personal account of any situation that involves that person.

For example, if a narcissist says you put work first, remind the person in response that you don’t put in overtime hours and that you take vacations.

Return to any point you want to make and take your own observations seriously.

5 Signs of Narcissistic Texting5 Signs of Narcissistic Texting

Compliment a Narcissist If You Need a Favor

It may sound like you’re being insincere, but…are these people always honest and true to you? So if you need a narcissist to do something for you, tell the person about any of the habits you like in him or her to inspire them to act.

If you receive a text from such a person and you decide that it’s in your best interest to reply, choose your words carefully. For example, if you need a narcissist ex to pick your kids up from school, praise him for his parenting skills.

Narcissists are more likely to help out if you give them an ego boost. Remember that when you use words of approval with a narcissist, you’re just helping yourself out.

Compliment a Narcissist If You Need a Favor
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Tell Them You Have Other People to Talk To

A narcissist wants you to always be focused on him or her because losing your attention is like a death to them.

This is why, if a narcissist texts and you realize that the person wants to bond, remind that you have a lot of friends and mentors.

Point out that you feel better in the new social environment you’ve found.

You can thank a narcissist for any curiosity and concern and then reveal that you’ve moved on

Tell Them You Have Other People to Talk To
Credits: Tim Douglas, via

Exchange Texts Easily And Positively

Treat them with the empathy and compassion that you’d show anyone else.

Send thoughtful messages that anyone would appreciate seeing. For instance, you can ask them about their goals or check in about their feelings.

You can talk briefly about school or their loneliness. Then, politely end the conversation, set down your phone, and unwind.

Exchange Texts Easily And Positively
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Practice Relaxation Methods

Yes, texting with a narcissist may require you using such techniques! These people often like making it tense when talking with others, simply because this is how they get the energy and attention they need so badly.

A text from a narcissist may make you tense up, so take care of yourself with some grounding exercises.

Set down your phone and focus on your body’s reactions. If your muscles are clenching up, roll your shoulders and massage your jaw.

Ten or more deep breaths will keep you at a normal resting heart rate. Close your eyes and relax every muscle group.

Practice Relaxation Methods
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Talk to a Friend to Discuss the Problem

This might be a good idea to share your problem with those whom you trust. Just check out whether your friend has time to listen to you, and ask him or her whether you could talk about your concerns.

It will help you to distract and see the whole situation from another angle.

Schedule an Appointment With a Therapist

It may sound like you are getting crazy and need help, but in fact, what narcissists do is a sort of abuse! And if you don’t feel good about what’s happening between you and your narcissist interlocutor, it is time to discuss it with the trained specialist.

The therapist can help you to boost your self-esteem and confidence and teach you psychological practices that will help you to get your narcissist on a short leash!

As you can see, in the majority of cases, answering a narcissist is not very difficult.

However, it might be difficult to spot such a person, especially if you have never dealt with them before!

This is why we suggest you become familiar with the most common communication traits of a narcissist to be able to define these people at once.

Schedule an Appointment With a Therapist
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All You Need to Know About Narcissist Texting Style

Spotting a narcissist might be difficult for those who never had a chance to meet such people or communicate with them closely enough. This is mostly because narcissists are very good at manipulating, and so they can pretend to be very sweet and nice at the beginning.

However, if you stay in touch with them longer, they will reveal their true self sooner or later.

And to be able to define whether or not a person is a narcissist (especially if you are suspicious about it), check out the basic communication features that a narcissist’s text may have.

All You Need to Know About Narcissist Texting Style
Credits: Sam Lion, via

They Overload You With Messages

These people will pile you under their text messages in just a few minutes!

They always expect a quick response since this is how they occupy your mind, this is why you will have messages arriving every minute.

Inconsistency In the Feeling Element

Your narcissist will alternate the warmth with the cold – all for creating confusion in you.

With them, you don’t know what to expect! Is it going to be fun and positive or are you on the receiving end of a put-down?

Inconsistency In the Feeling Element
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Ambiguity In Their Messages

When texting with a narcissist, you constantly have to decode their messages since they often play with words.

What the heck did he mean this time?!


Ooooh, they are so good at it! This dead silence when you are wondering where the hell that person is gone?! And of course, there will be no message from the other side.

Fake Care

They love sending those meaningless texts, the random messages that kind of show they care, but in fact, they don’t mean anything in real life. Something like “Just wondered how you are” or “I have missed you”.

It Is Never About You!

No, of course not! It’s always and totally about them. Questions about you are never asked. Instead, you will receive tons of selfies along with the constant ramble.

Word Salad

That happens when a narcissist feels that you’re about to be released from the hook. Then you start receiving those extremely long messages with half-apologies, explanations, and promises to change.

All aimed to keep you interested and engaged.

So, if you notice that some of your friends or people around you remind you of this description, you should be more attentive: perhaps, that person is a narcissist in disguise?

Word Salad
Credits: mitja2, via

Tips For Communicating With Narcissist

So how shall you communicate with such a person at all?! It’s not easy to do, but it is still possible. Yes, you will always have to mind whom you are talking to, and also, keep the narcissist as far from your personal borders as possible.

But if there is no chance to quit communication with this person, here are a few tips for how to make it less hard for you.

  1. Don’t engage. Don’t insult a person back. Don’t defend yourself. Don’t threaten. Just stick with the goal of your communication and wait until a narcissist answers.
  2. Reply with “yes” or “no” only.
  3. Ignore his “love bombs” if a narcissist is your ex-boyfriend or your ex-husband. These people never ever change, so he’s just trying to hook you up again.
  4. Set firm boundaries. Narcissists like taking and they hate giving. So just stop being their suppliers! Be always ready to say “It’s not ok with me!‘.
Tips For Communicating With Narcissist
Credits: Torsten Dettlaff, via

So, this is all that we wanted to tell you about how to deal with a narcissist person and how to communicate with one.

These people are difficult in close communication, but if you can’t quit it for any reason, then use the tips and tricks we gave you to at least make it easier and less emotionally painful for yourself!

Frequently Asked Questions

⭐ If a person doesn't adhere to others’ needs and desires, does it mean he or she is a narcissist?

It’s very likely this person is.

⭐ Is it possible to change a narcissist somehow?

If this person undergoes psychological therapy, then chances are he or she will become better. But you can’t make one to get treated.

⭐ Is being a narcissist a disorder?

No, it’s not a disorder.

Written by
Kate worked in "The Fashion Magazine" for four years as a freelance writer and loved to consult and help people with their style. How to create your own style, how to look beautiful, and select trendy colors for your hair - these are just a few of many issues Kate will happily explain in Beezzly Beauty blogs!
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