Perhaps, almost every girl has had that experience in her life when she meets a nice guy, they have a lovely date, and then he just disappears without saying a word! He does not text you for days, and when you finally decide to cut it short and move on, he returns!
In this situation, when a guy texts you back after a long time, most girls would feel embarrassed and puzzled.
What shall I do now? On my God, he finally texted me back, should I respond?!
What shall I say to him?! And in addition, you keep on wondering what made this guy disappear without any warning first, and then come back as if nothing happened.
So exactly for those girls who are in the same situation right now, we decided to prepare a helpful article on this subject.
Read on to know what makes guys behave like this, what you shall do if he unexpectedly messages you after being absent for days or even weeks (if not longer), and finally, what you should say to him in this case.
We do hope that this information will be helpful for you, and next time you meet such a man, you will be able to easily figure out what kind of person is in front of you, and what you should expect from him.
What to Say When He Finally Contacts You?
When he doesn’t text back for days, and then he suddenly shows up with a hello message, you will definitely feel a whole bunch of different emotions! Irritation, embarrassment, wonder, surprise, bewilderment – all of them are pertinent and have full right for existence!
He disappeared without saying a word after you have just met and had a nice date or two, he didn’t show up for days or even weeks, and now he suddenly texts you back saying hello! We are sure this can drive anyone crazy!
But here is another question that girls ask themselves when something like this happens. Most of you ladies wonder what to do when a guy texts you after a long time. Is it better to ignore him?
Shall you text him back and try to figure out what happened and why he vanished so fast last time? Is it better if you wait until he sends a message to you asking for your forgiveness?
Well, of course, you are free to do whatever you wish and whatever you feel like. Being ghosted sucks, that’s true.
There is no such woman who would like to meet a guy who is very into her, date him, and then see him turning tail and running far away. So you can, of course, ban him in all your messengers and draw conclusions from this experience.
However, we would like to suggest a few more alternative variants of how to act in this case.
See, not every guy who acts like this is a bad or ignorant person! He might have reasons for acting this way, and you should consider all the possible variants before you take your final decision!
So how to respond when he comes back to you after being absent for quite a long period of time? Check out what we can suggest and decide, which of these ways you could take in your particular case!
And remember that you can always mix them together if you are still not sure whether you should take any strict measures or not right now.
So, off we go!
Say Nothing. At All
Instead of wasting your precious time on wondering why he did what he did, and whether it was your fault or not, just ignore him. Once and for all. Yep, that is tough, but this is exactly what quite many girls do. Do to him exactly what he did to you.
This is probably the easier way of actions, and it entirely depends on whether or not you actually had a connection with this guy. So ask yourself a few easy questions.
Did you like him?
Before he ghosted on you, did you connect enough that you feel like it might be worthwhile to see what he has been up to and get to the bottom of why he disappeared? If the answer is no, then you don’t owe him your time or attention.
When he doesn’t text back for days, most women simply decide that it is not worthy of their time to try to solve this puzzle, and so they prefer to move on and find someone who actually responds to their messages.
After all, it was him who started ghosting on you!
It can be a couple days, weeks, months or even years when he finally decides to come back and check up on you again.
By then, you are either over it or moved on. So what do you do?
The best would be to let him know how it feels to be waiting for a response and just never get one. Guys who ghost on women more often than not have never had it happen to them before. So, give him a little taste of his own medicine!
Why not? Especially if he’s not messaging you with a good explanation for what happened right off the bat.
By the way, if you don’t feel like staying in touch with this guy, feel free to ban him in all the messengers you have his contact in, so that he could not show up now and then whenever he feels like and disturb you!
Get to the Bottom Of It
Instead of wasting your time and nerves on trying to figure out why this guy did what he did, and what makes him not texting you for days, just ask him, straight up, what has happened.
This would be the simplest and the quickest way to know whether anything is wrong – of course, if the guy is honest enough and he tells you the truth!
After all, there may have been something serious that happened in his life that forced him to take all his attention away from other areas in his life. Maybe a tragedy struck his family, or he got seriously ill.
He could have lost his job or had to move! Life is so unpredictable sometimes, and it is often full of so many twists and turns that anything could have happened to him! It could cause him to have to stop responding to your messages.
On the other hand, even if this was the case, he definitely should have mentioned it to you beforehand!
But still, if you feel that you have a real connection with this guy, then it is a good idea to get to the bottom of what happened to him before you make a final decision.
Related: How to Respond to Hey?
Why Not Give Him Another Chance?
When a guy that you dated quite a long time ago appears again after being absent for days, you might be very happy on the one hand. Oh, he texted me, that’s great! But on the other hand, there is also quite a lot of disappointment and offence because of how he acted.
So if you are still in doubt whether you should cut all the communication down or not with him, here is a piece of advice from us: if you feel like your connection is strong enough, then you can give him another chance.
However, it is important that he explains to you what made him vanish so fast! If his explanation for why he disappeared on you feels reasonable enough and he seems truly sorry that it happened, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t reconnect with him.
After all, there may be something special between the two of you that you don’t want to let get away. Of course, if he ghosts on you again then you have no reason to pardon him!
But if it happens once and you feel up to it, there’s no reason not to let him back into your life on a trial basis.
Related: How to Respond to Get Well Soon?
Simply Move On!
This is a good solution for those girls who don’t feel like ghosting a man back. In this case, you just need to explain to him that, even though you liked him quite a bit, you don’t feel like reconnecting with him again after what he did.
And if his reasons for ghosting on you aren’t convincing enough (or if he has none at all), you can go ahead and let him know that you are not into being led on and then ignored for long periods of time (as most women aren’t!).
Like this, you will clearly let him know how you feel about being ghosted so he can feel it and experience it himself. After all, you will hardly ever talk to this guy again! So take the chance and savor it!
Anyway, no matter which of these ways you choose, it is fully up to you whether you decide to give him another chance or you let him go after he disappeared from your life for so long.
And yes, you have every single reason to feel annoyed and even ticked off at him!
So unless you are sure you two can have it right together, don’t try to be or act sweet. Let him realize how you feel, and don’t hesitate to do this in quite a harsh and strict way.
Nobody has the right to hurt another person by ignoring him or her like this without any explanation!
Why Guys Don’t Text Back For Days And Then Appear Again?
So, you had a nice time together, but then something happened (you have no idea, what!), and this guy suddenly disappears without saying a word to you.
But later, after a few days, or weeks, or sometimes even months, he comes back again texting you as if nothing has happened before!
Is that normal? No, that’s not! So naturally, you will feel confused and embarrassed because of his behavior. However, this is very important now that you keep your head cool and your dignity and sanity in check!
And since now you know some of the possible reasons why he ghosted you, we can turn our attention to finding out the reasons why ghosters ever come back.
He Wants to Prove to Himself That He Can Have You Whenever He Wants
That may not sound pleasant, but this is true. You gave it a try with him, and he ghosted you.
Now that he is back, you are wondering the reason behind him reappearing again. Well, it could be that he wants to use you to prove to himself and the rest of the world that he can have you whenever he wants!
Who knows, perhaps he wanted to show his ex-girlfriend and their mutual friends that he can be with you whenever he chooses, if he’s trying to make her jealous.
He Is Not Aware Of His Mistake
Yes, this is also possible! He might not be even aware that he did something wrong! And unfortunately, this has been happening quite a lot in recent years.
The reason is simple yet pretty sad: quite many men are just not mature enough to realize what they feel for you and thus they make a mistake of leaving you.
They are simply unable to properly express their emotions and they are perfectly fine with just having a casual fling with you from time to time. It does not make them bad people, it simply shows that they are big little boys who can’t take responsibility for what they do.
However, there might be another reason. The guy might not even be aware that he is hurting you when he is ghosting you like this and then reappears again.
Nevertheless, we want you to remember and realize one simple thing: the more you let him come and go from your life freely, the more he will be sure that you want the same thing as he does. And that’s a fling and nothing more!
So we recommend you to be honest with the man the very first time he appears again and tell him how the situation really is.
You Are His Second Option
That man ghosted you and he continued with his dating life as if nothing happened. Then after a certain period of time (that could be very long!), he starts messaging you again, telling you that he misses you and he wants you back.
Naturally, you are wondering about what the real reason behind his messages is.
Does it really mean that he regrets ghosting you or is he keeping you as his second option or even a backup plan?
Even though your emotions are distracting you from seeing the bigger picture here, the answer is obvious. Perhaps your best friend has been pointing out that he is just playing with you but you failed to see it.
Either way, he ghosted you rather than break up with you because he wanted to know that he could come back to you when other girls turned him down. He believes that you are just one phone call away, which is why he hasn’t texted you for a few days.
He Does Not Want You to Move On
If you have been wondering whether or not ghosters ever come back, the truth is that they do and it can happen once they see that you have moved on. When this happens, they suddenly appear in your life again and that could possibly be the reason why your ghoster finally texted you after three days.
This is not because he missed you! He simply didn’t want to allow you to move on with your life without him.
He is a narcissist in disguise and he doesn’t wish for you to be happy without him. guys like him will keep reappearing in your life to prevent you from moving on emotionally as well as mentally.
Every time he sees that you have found someone new, he will immediately reach out and try to make a comeback in your life.
He Simply Feels Lonely Or Bored
We know, it can be difficult to accept the fact that there are people in this world who are cruel and who will use your kindness to their advantage. But the truth is that those kinds of people only want to hurt others and they don’t care whether or not they are going to break your heart!
To tell the truth, ghosters can be these types of people and your man may be one of them. Just because you are always nice to him and you treat him with respect, he sees that as a chance to behave any way he likes toward you.
He believes that you will always give him a second chance and that he can always show up whenever he is lonely or bored.
However, if you keep repeating the same mistake of letting him go in and out of your life as he pleases, then he will simply keep breaking your heart until there is nothing left to break.
So stay alert and see how your man behaves with you. Does he tend to leave and come whenever he wants?
Does he explain his disappearance somehow? If he does, how realistic and strong are those reasons?
Like this, you will be able to clearly see what is going on instead of being surrounded by illusions and dreams.
He Misses You
Yes, this can also be the reason why he behaves like this!
Men are unpredictable, just like women are! So if your guy finally texted you after three days of silence, don’t put aside the possibility that he realized that he made a mistake, and he wants to make things right this time!
So, as you can see, there can be plenty of different reasons why your man disappeared and then returned to you back again.
As a girl, you should not hallucinate about his feelings and intentions though!
Instead, estimate the situation adequately and decide whether or not you would like to continue relations with him.
It’s up to you. But if you don’t intend to communicate with him anymore, then just ban him. Next time he texts you, reply with “Sorry, who’s this?” Towards him, it’s not.
Frequently Asked Questions
⭐ Do I need to ask why he disappeared before sending him to ban?
⭐ What’s the best way to respond to a man who’s been ghosting on me?
⭐ Is ignoring a ghoster a rude behavior?
It’s up to you. But if you don’t intend to communicate with him anymore, then just ban him.
Next time he texts you, reply with “Sorry, who’s this?”
Towards him, it’s not.