How to Respond to a Mean Text Message?

What to say in response if someone texts you angrily? We will teach you how to put that brat in his place!

Written by Kate Holmsy. Updated on How to Respond to a Mean Text Message

Perhaps, quite many of us have been there: you get a text message from a boyfriend, from your crush, or just a friend, and you see that it’s really rude and even mean!

Of course, you feel frustrated, disappointed, puzzled, and you don’t know what to text back in response. Shall you send the same negative reply?

Or maybe it is better to try and figure out why this person was so impolite with you?

Many people want to know how to respond to a rude text, since nowadays, an issue of cyberbullying is not a rare thing unfortunately.

But even if you are not being bullied, you should be aware of what to say if someone finds it ok to send you angry, mean, or humiliating messages!

In this article, we will give you a few suggestions on what to text back depending on different situations possible, and also, you will learn what you should do and say if your crush sends you confusing messages.

How to Respond to a Negative Text Message?

So how to respond to a mean text? Of course, the very first impulse that you might have would be to do your best to figure out why this person did that at all. However, we would recommend you slow down a bit and think instead.

Of course, getting mean or rude text messages can really hurt! Your immediate reaction might be anger or sadness, but don’t let your emotions make you say something you will regret later.

Instead, you should take your time to think about who sent the text and what you want your response to do. Perhaps, this is a friend who could be really upset about something?

Or maybe it is a cyberbully or troll who is being mean just for fun? Finally, do you want to turn this into a meaningful conversation, or shut it down once and for all?

To help you solve this all out, we have prepared a few handy variants of response that you can use to put the brat back in his place.

How to Respond to a Negative Text Message
Credits: leungchopan, via

I’m Not Going to Respond to This Right Now

After you receive a mean text message, the best thing you can do is to give yourself time. You need to calm down before you say something that might be the wrong thing to a person who sent you that message.

If the message was sent by your friend or your close person, you might feel really emotional right after reading a mean text!

This is why it is exceptionally essential to step back from your phone and cool off.

However, it is important that you let that person know why you are not responding.

Tell him or her that you are taking some time to think to be able to reply with a clear mind.

It can be anything like “I don’t want to respond right now because I’m upset and don’t want to say anything I’ll regret later.”

I’m Not Going to Respond to This Right Now
Credits: leungchopan, via

Related: How to Respond to a Narcissist Text?

Are You Trying to Be Mean?

There is a possibility that you could be misinterpreting the text you have just received. You definitely know that reading emotions over phones and the internet can be difficult sometimes!

In general, it is good to assume that other people are not trying to be rude over text, especially if they are your friends or relatives.

However, if you can’t tell whether their message was meant to be mean, ask them before jumping to your own conclusions.

  • It could be that the other person didn’t realize they were hurting your feelings. Asking about this directly could lead to an apology.
  • You don’t want to get into an argument or write someone off over an accidental miscommunication.
  • You might read a “mean” text differently after you let your initial emotional reaction pass and look at it again with fresh eyes.
How To Respond To Rude People - 8 Powerful ComebacksHow To Respond To Rude People – 8 Powerful Comebacks

Related: 11+ Ideas How to Respond to a Cancellation Request?

Did I Say Or Do Something Wrong?

Did you think that there is a possibility the mean text you received was a response to something you did?

It can be easy to assume the person who sent a mean or angry text is wrong.

However, it is still important to understand both sides of a conversation before creating an opinion!

So we suggest you ask if there is a reason they are upset, and try finding a solution with them.

Did I Say Or Do Something Wrong
Credits: AstiMak, via

You could use one of the following phrases to figure out the situation:

  • “Could you tell me what I did to upset you?”
  • “I think I deserve to know why you’re angry with me.”
  • “I don’t like this tension between us. Can we talk?”
  • “Is there something I can apologize for?”
  • “Please tell me what I can do to fix things.”
Did I Say Or Do Something Wrong
Credits: snegok1967, via

Is This Really About Something Else?

If you receive a mean text message simply out of blue, it is very likely that a person who sent it to you is just having a bad day.

Of course, having a bad day is not an excuse and it does not mean that we can send rude or mean texts to other people!

However, not everyone is able to hold back and calm down when needed.

Of course, we know that it might be pretty hard to not take a mean text personally!

But you should always remember that the person who sent it has a life outside of you.

He or she might just be taking their frustration about something else out on you.

If it seems random that this person is being mean to you, try asking them what they’re actually upset about.

Is This Really About Something Else
Credits: Gajus-Images, via

I’m Really Sorry You Are Hurting

Sometimes people send mean messages and say mean words simply because they are hurt deep inside.

Rather than giving someone the offended reaction they might expect from being mean to you, stop them in their tracks with calmness and empathy.

This could either get them to drop the conversation and stop bothering you or open up a meaningful dialogue.

  • “I hope you find yourself in a better place soon.”
  • “You don’t have to be mean to others to feel better about yourself.”
  • “I won’t hold this against you because I know you don’t really mean it.”
  • “We both know you didn’t need to say that, right?”
  • “You’re so much better than this!”
I’m Really Sorry You Are Hurting
Credits: pikselstock, via

Why Did You Say That?

Instead of getting angry or upset, flip the situation and ask the rude person why he or she sent you that mean message. Make them reflect on their own intentions.

Get them to scramble for a good answer that justifies their behavior, or make them admit that they’re being mean for no valid reason!

  • “What do you want me to say to that?”
  • “How do you think that makes me feel?”
  • “Are you trying to get a reaction out of me?”
  • “Do you feel better after saying that?”
  • “Was that really necessary?”
Why Did You Say That
Credits: bodnarphoto, via

That’s Not Cool At All

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to leave it at that instead of stating your opinion.

One little mean text might not be worth wasting your time and nerves on it, or starting an argument, or even a discussion!

If you are confident that you have done nothing to deserve this hate, end the conversation right then and there.

Shut them down with something brief, and only respond after they have calmed down.

That’s Not Cool At All
Credits: Deepkcreation, via

I Feel Disrespected When You Say Things Like That!

People say mean things to try getting emotional responses out of others.

Rather than freaking out and giving them what they want, surprise them by being blunt and honest about how their comment makes you feel.

You can even go further with an explanation to show them their words can’t put you down!

Don’t Ever Talk to Me Like That Again!

You are not obliged to read other people’s mean words! If they behave this way, they show their disrespect to you. Set a clear and firm boundary so the other person knows you mean business.

Sometimes, the best response to a mean comment is just telling the other person to stop.

You don’t even need to explain yourself. Keep your response cold and sharp to really scare your bully away.

Don’t Ever Talk to Me Like That Again!
Credits: BongkarnGraphic, via

I’m Going to Screenshot This

If you receive mean and offensive messages from the same person again and again, it might be a case of cyber bullying! In this case, keep evidence of the bullying to make them realize you are not powerless!

Cyberbullies and trolls will continue to be mean if they know they can get away with it without anyone else knowing.

You can remind them that you can easily spread the word that they’re bullying if they continue.

With these tips and recommendations, you will be able to relatively easily quit a mean conversation and make the rude person understand that his or her behavior is unacceptable and you won’t take that for granted!

I’m Going to Screenshot This
Credits: kolapatha, via

How to Respond to Confusing Text Messages From Your Crush?

You girls know that very well: when you suddenly receive a text message from your crush and you feel like “WTF”?! How am I supposed to understand that?!

What did he mean at all? Or your man can suddenly disappear or “forget” answering your messages. Or maybe he says he didn’t see it or missed it?

All those excuses sound way too odd and not very trustworthy! So we suggest you learn what in fact can hide behind those explanations in real life. Ready?

By the way, this information will be useful for men too!

How to Respond to Confusing Text Messages From Your Crush
Credits: bodnarphoto, via

Noncommittal Texts

When a person behaves in an evasive manner and doesn’t give you a direct reply about what he or she is doing later or when you will meet again, it usually means that it’s you they can’t make up their mind about.

It’s not that they are so super busy or indecisive. The worst that can happen is that your crush is simply waiting for the better chance, and if there is none, he or she will come back to you.

How to respond in this case? Say, “Let me know when you figure it out!” or even ask, “What else do you have going on tonight?” Assertive, yes, but it’s the best way to coax a direct answer from the evasive texter.

And if they still don’t give you a specific answer, don’t waste your time on them.

Noncommittal Texts
Credits: bodnarphoto, via

The Rain Check Texts

All those “Too busy at work” and “Maybe next week” mean that the person really could have too much work to do, or he/she could be out of town visiting, or they really might be way too tired after work to see a movie with you!

But, at the same time, being particularly vague about making future plans might mean that he/she is not all that enthusiastic about seeing you.

When your crush wants to see you, they will go well out of their way to ensure that it happens. While not all hope is lost when someone can’t keep a date, this type of message should make you wary.

What to say in response? Anything, but your response must be straightforward. If your crush is interested, they will agree to make alternative plans.

The Rain Check Texts
Credits: imtmphoto, via

The Flake-Out Messages

Yep, it’s all these “I missed your message, sorry!”. But did they really? On the one hand, it’s pretty simple to miss an sms in a pile of messages arriving on your phone these days.

On the other hand, if seeing your name on the screen did not make a person read that message, perhaps, he or she does not care about you so much.

What shall you do in this situation? Play it cool. If you truly believe they did not see your text, you can respond with a simple “no worries!” or “it’s ok!”

However, if you feel they aren’t making your conversation a priority, then make sure they know that they’re not a priority of yours: “Oh, don’t worry about it.

I forgot about it!” Your flippancy might just make your person-of-interest step up their game.

The Flake-Out Messages
Credits: toppercussion, via

One-Worded Texts

Those are so irritating! And frustrating. What did the person want to say? Well, it’s possible that your crush was just too busy at work and could not respond properly.

However, if you receive such messages regularly even when you know he or she is not working, think about it. Maybe your crush is not interested that much?

And instead of trying to pull teeth to get your crush to talk, the best way to deal with this message is to take the hint.

Wrap up the convo and try them again later when they’re a little less distracted and, with any luck, a little more talkative.

One-Worded Texts
Credits: peus, via

So, now you all know what you should say to rude or mean text messages if anyone sends those to you via phone.

And in addition, you have learned what you should do if your crush, either man or a woman, communicates in a weird or neglective manner with you via messages.

Like that, we hope that you will never take those messages too close to your heart, since in most cases, people who send them are just not aware of how to communicate properly, or they might simply be the wrong people in your life.

Frequently Asked Questions

⭐ Is it mandatory to respond to a text message immediately?

It’s not, but you should do it asap to not make a person wait for too long.

⭐ When a person responds way too late, what’s that about?

Your person is either super busy, or your conversation is not a great concern for him/her.

⭐ What shall you do if cyberbullying continues?

Block that person on everything.

Written by
Kate worked in "The Fashion Magazine" for four years as a freelance writer and loved to consult and help people with their style. How to create your own style, how to look beautiful, and select trendy colors for your hair - these are just a few of many issues Kate will happily explain in Beezzly Beauty blogs!
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