How Long Should You Date Long-Distance Before Moving?

Are you a long-distance couple? Learn when it’s a proper moment for you to move in

Written by Camilla Moln. Updated on How Long Should You Date Long Distance Before Moving

When you have been in a long-distance relationship, one day you will face a question: shall you move or not? To many couples, the answer is obvious: of course to move in!

However, this is quite a serious step for those who have been in a long-distance romantic partnership for quite a while. When you move in, many things change and it is important to consider this.

So today we are going to answer one of the most common and frequently asked questions: how long should you date long-distance before moving in together?

You will find out how much time should pass before you and your partner make a responsible decision of moving in together. Also, we will tell you what factors and nuances should be considered to make your moving in and further life together as comfortable as possible.

How Long Should You Date Long-Distance Before Moving In?

How long is it normal to date before moving in, if you are in a long-distance relationship? Many of us have asked this question for sure. And in fact, there is no strict rule or answer that will suit everyone.

Hey Steve: How Do We Go From Being Long Distance To Living Together?Hey Steve: How Do We Go From Being Long Distance To Living Together?

However, they say that long-distance couples should wait for approximately a year before they decide to move in.

Nevertheless, note that this is the approximate time frame! Some couples may move in after half a year of dating whilst others will need even more than a year. All of us have different circumstances and life conditions that will influence this decision.

However, you should also take into consideration that long-distance relationships will either end up moving in together or they will be stopped. You can’t date and be a couple always without living together, especially if both of you are planning to have a family.

But if you decide to unite and move in with your partner after some time spent in a long-distance relationship, you should know why moving in with your long-distance boyfriend is important for your couple and for the future of your relationship.

How Long Should You Date Long Distance Before Moving In
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Why Moving In Is Important For Long-Distance Relationships?

For sure, the very first answer that would come to your mind would be that moving in makes your connection and your relationships stronger. You develop stronger bonds with each other and you finally have a proper opportunity to get to know each other much better since you are now living under the same roof!

And at first, couples take their life together as something fun. After quite a long period of a long-distance romance, you finally have lots of opportunities to spend more time together, cuddling in front of a TV, spending time together, going out, etc.

And all this surely makes your couple and your feelings stronger and your bonds tighter!

However, the importance of moving in for such couples is not only in making their love connection better. In addition, when you start living together, you learn to accept your partner with all his/her strong and weak sides, all pros and cons he or she has.

You learn about this person from different angles, figuring out what food they like or how much sugar they prefer in their morning coffee. When you live together, you can learn how to adjust your personal schedules to make your common life comfortable for each other.

For example, if you are an early bird and your partner sleeps until dinner, you will have to learn how to live with that, and nothing will help you better than moving in together!

Why Moving In Is Important For Long Distance Relationships
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Are We Ready to Move In Together? A Few Things to Consider Before You Reply?

Even if you know how long to wait before moving in together when you are in a long-distance relationship when the time x comes, you will most likely ask yourself this question: am I really ready for this? Are we really ready?

For sure, after spending a year or more in a long-distance relationship, it can be pretty hard to change everything and start living together! And to a certain point, it can be considered big stress for both partners.

This is why you should not push yourself and/or your partner if one (or both) of you are not absolutely confident about the decision.

6 Signs It’s Too Early to Move in Together6 Signs It’s Too Early to Move in Together

Instead, we suggest you think twice and consider all pros and cons. Also, it might make sense for you to take a few aspects into close consideration. With their help, you will be able to figure out how ready you and your partner are for moving in.

Are We Ready to Move In Together A Few Things to Consider Before You Reply
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Are Both Of Us Ready?

Until now both of you have only had phone or video calls and maybe met a few times, so it won’t be enough for figuring out how ready you are for moving in. So what can help you out is that you and your partner should talk.

Discuss how you and your partner see your future life together. Discuss your expectations from each other and from your common life, compare your schedules and try to foresee how you might be able to adjust them to feel comfortable under the same roof.

Before you move in and start living together, you must be sure that none of you will become a cause of serious stress for each other! Besides, if there is anything that you or your partner is very unyielding about, this should be discussed in advance.

Like that, you will avoid sudden conflicts afterward.

Are Both Of Us Ready
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Will You Be Able to Balance Career And Love Life?

When you are in a long-distance relationship, it is pretty easy to postpone your phone or video call if you have a late meeting at work or your friends have suddenly asked you out for dinner. However, after you move in, things will change and you will have to take your partner into account from now on!

So before moving in, discuss how you would combine and balance your personal and work life. See, when you live together with your partner, you won’t be able to go out with your friends anytime, leaving your loved one home alone!

You will have to learn how to adjust your schedule and plan your routine so that there is a place there for both your work/friends and your partner.

Will You Be Able to Balance Career And Love Life
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Will Your Relationship Result In Marriage?

Quite many long-distance couples believe that after they move in, they will be obliged to get married one day no matter what! But is it really mandatory? In fact, marriage is not compulsory in this case.

Moreover, some couples may realize that they either don’t want to get married and want to just live together, or they may even decide to break up one day.

So you should discuss this moment with your partner at least to be aware of how he or she sees your future in perspective.

If the person is expecting you to get married one day and he or she sees your moving in as a step forward in this way, but this is not your goal, you should tell him about it at once.

Will Your Relationship Result In Marriage
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Discuss And Negotiate Your Responsibilities

Of course, living together can be fun and romantic, but at the same time, it is not always a bed of roses! You and your partner will have to share some household responsibilities after you move in together, and it’s best if you negotiate that in advance.

Let’s say, you hate washing dishes but your partner loves doing that! Or you might not want to do the laundry. You should discuss such nuances and agree on who will be doing what. Perhaps, you will decide to hire a cleaning lady to do the “dirty job” for you, as an option!

Discuss And Negotiate Your Responsibilities
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Discuss Your Budget

Talking about money is always a bit slippery, but this is what must be done before you move in! You need to discuss in advance what your budget will be. Like this, you will avoid any misunderstandings in the future.

Is it going to be your common budget or each of you will have their own?

Or maybe you will have a common share to spend on things like food, gasoline, etc, and the rest of your personal incomes will be totally yours?

As you can see, there are quite many things that you and your partner should discuss in advance to be sure that you are ready to move on and start living together as a couple.

And we would strongly recommend you not skip this step! It will help you figure out where you and your partner will have to negotiate with each other, and where it will be easy for you to agree.

Discuss Your Budget
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Can Your Relationship Get Better If You Move In Together?

If you have been in a long-distance relationship for quite a long time, it makes sense for both of you to move in together. After (roughly) a year of dating in distance, you have enough time to know each other better online. Besides, if you have visited each other at least a few times, it could help you get closer even more.

However, before you move in, make sure that both you and your long-distance partner are serious and absolutely sure about your long-distance relationship.

See, couples that don’t move in together when the time comes to tend to turn their long-distance romantic relationship into a fictional relationship.

So if you have been in a long-distance relationship for quite a while and both of you feel that it’s time to literally get closer and move in, don’t postpone this moment! Moving in at the right moment can make your couple stronger and bring your relationship into a brand new level!

Can Your Relationship Get Better If You Move In Together
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Can You Ruin Your Relationship By Moving In Together?

If you are in a long-distance relationship with someone but you have never met or only met a couple of times, it will be hard for both of you to tell if you will be able to live together. To make such a responsible decision, you need enough time to get to know each other and figure out whether you really want to try it with this person.

Moving in can indeed ruin your relationship, but only if you had too many illusions about it. See, when you are in a long-distance relationship with a person you only met online, your relationship is more like a dream or illusion in your mind.

The same as the person whom you are in a relationship with. For a long-distance relationship, it can work pretty well, but when you decide to move in together, you will face reality. And this is the moment that not all couples survive.

For example, not all people realize that, when you move in together after a long-distance relationship, you will have less time and less space to do things you like and do them when you like. You will have to reschedule your life more or less since now you also have to take another person into consideration

This is what quite many couples are not ready for, especially if both partners are young enough. They think that living together is all about romance and kisses, but it’s also about daily life, responsibility, and temperance.

Can You Ruin Your Relationship By Moving In Together
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A Few Handy Tips For Those Who Decided to Move In

So you and your partner decide to move in! Congrats! But now you may start feeling way too anxious and nervous about your future move, especially if you are a girl and this is you who are moving!

Changing a place of living is always stressful a bit, but moving to someone to live with (and especially if you are moving to another city or even country!) is way more stressful.

So we have prepared a list of useful recommendations for you to keep in mind. They will help you to arrange your thoughts and act more calmly.

  • Discuss with your partner how moving in and living together will work for both of you
  • Figure out whether you feel comfortable and can communicate freely with your partner
  • Test your relationship by moving in for a short period of time (e.g. a few weeks or a few months)
  • As an alternative, you can spend a few months together, in a completely different place (e.g. go for a vacation)
  • If there is anything you feel uncomfortable about when living together during your test period, tell your partner about it and try to find a solution together!
  • Have a plan and a timeline to make moving in together easier

With these simple tips, you will be able to feel calmer and organize your move better. Besides, this guide will help you not lose important nuances that should be considered when living together with your partner.

Like this, now you know how much time you should wait until you and your partner move from a long-distance relationship to a living-together stage. As you are now aware, you need to consider a lot of nuances and think about many things before you make this decision!

However, if both of you are sure you want this and you are ready for this, then with the help of this information, you will be able to move in in a most comfortable way!

Frequently Asked Questions

⭐In a long-distance relationship, who should move, a man or a woman?

There is no strict rule for this. They say a man should ask a woman to move in to live with him, but it can also work vice versa.

⭐What to do if a long-distance boyfriend won't move?

Ask him why he doesn’t want that and, if he doesn’t seem to be interested in your common future, perhaps it’s better to leave him at all.

⭐Will we have to get married once we move in?

Not necessarily. You can live together for a while and see how it works for you. And if both of you are interested in marriage and you’re doing great living togther, you can discuss this next step.

Written by
Camilla is an experienced Consultant with more than 20 years of preparing professional articles for numerous online resources. She has done a tremendous job and has learned a lot during her career. Camilla will advise you on the latest trends and give amazing tips on how to decorate a house.
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