Speed dating: it’s a world of snap judgments, split-second decisions, and a rapid-fire evaluation of your compatibility with dozens of potential partners. It can be a little daunting if you’re new to the scene. But don’t worry, we’re here to help!
We’ve compiled a list of eight insider secrets that will help you ace your next speed dating event. Let’s dive right in!
1. First Impressions Matter, But They’re Not Everything
There’s a common saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” While there’s a grain of truth in this, it’s also crucial to remember that first impressions aren’t everything. Research has shown that the more we interact with someone, the more our initial impressions can change. In speed dating, you only get a few minutes, so it’s important to be open-minded.
Dos and Don’ts of Making First Impressions
Do: Be authentic. The best version of you is the real you.
Don’t: Try to fit into a mould or pretend to be someone you’re not.

2. Prepare Your Elevator Pitch
Speed dating is a bit like pitching a business idea – you’ve got a very short time to impress. But unlike a business pitch, this is about you.
It’s essential to create a personal “elevator pitch” that can give a snapshot of who you are.

Key Components of Your Personal Elevator Pitch
- What you do (professionally or as a hobby)
- Something unique about you
- What you’re looking for in a partner
3. The Power of Positivity
It’s no secret that positivity is attractive. Studies show that positivity can make you more appealing to others, and speed dating is no exception.
Ways to Radiate Positivity in Speed Dating
- Be optimistic: Talk about things you enjoy and are passionate about.
- Smile: It’s contagious and sets a happy tone.
- Be enthusiastic: Show genuine interest in your date.
4. Ask Insightful Questions
You only have a few minutes, so make them count! Avoid generic questions and aim for more insightful ones. According to a study by Richard Wiseman, less conventional and more unique questions lead to more successful speed dates.

Top 5 Insightful Questions to Ask in Speed Dating
- What’s a passion project you’re currently working on?
- What’s the best book you’ve read recently and why did it impress you?
- If you could invite any three people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would they be and why?
- What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?
- If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
5. Body Language: The Silent Communicator
Communication is about more than just words. In fact, up to 93% of communication effectiveness can be determined by nonverbal cues, according to a study by Dr. Albert Mehrabian. This becomes especially crucial in a setting like speed dating, where time is limited.

Do’s and Don’ts of Speed Dating Body Language
Do: Maintain eye contact, lean slightly towards your date, and use open body language.
Don’t: Cross your arms, fidget excessively, or avoid eye contact.
6. Don’t Overthink It
While it’s essential to come prepared, it’s equally important not to overthink. A study by Harvard psychologist, Ellen Langer, demonstrated that mindfulness improves outcomes and quality of interactions.

Tips to Avoid Overthinking in Speed Dating
- Stay in the moment: Engage with your date and the conversation at hand.
- Let go of perfection: Don’t worry about saying everything perfectly.
- Trust your instincts: If you feel a connection, trust your gut.
7. Be Open to Surprises
Sometimes, the person who you least expect to connect with turns out to be the most exciting one. Research by Eastwick and Finkel indicates that romantic preferences are often unknowable until we meet people face-to-face.
Tips for Being Open in Speed Dating
- Don’t judge a book by its cover: Give everyone a fair shot.
- Look for the unexpected: Be open to people who aren’t typically your “type”.
- Enjoy the process: Keep an open mind and have fun.
8. Follow Up Post-Event
The speed dating event is just the beginning. The real connection starts afterwards. Research shows that following up can be crucial for establishing a real connection.

Tips for Successful Follow-Ups
- Be prompt: Reach out within 24-48 hours.
- Be genuine: Express your interest and remind them of a shared conversation.
- Keep it light: Ask them out for a casual follow-up date.
Now that you’re armed with these eight insider secrets, you’re ready to dive headfirst into the exciting world of speed dating. Go out there, have fun, and remember, the aim is to meet new people and enjoy the process.
Conclusion
In conclusion, speed dating can be a wonderful way to meet potential matches. By applying these eight secrets, from harnessing the power of positivity to preparing your elevator pitch, you can make the most out of your speed dating experience.
Keep an open mind, trust your instincts, and most importantly, enjoy the journey. Here’s to finding your match at warp speed!
[wp-faq-schema title=”Frequently Asked Questions”]
I’m a little introverted. Can I still succeed at speed dating
Absolutely! Introverts often excel at one-on-one conversations, which is what speed dating is all about. Remember, it’s not about impressing everyone in the room. It’s about making a connection with the person sitting across from you.
What’s the most important thing to remember during a speed date?
Keep in mind that the goal is to get to know the person across from you and to let them get to know you. It’s not about performing, but rather about being authentic and showing genuine interest in your partner.
Is speed dating only for finding a romantic partner?
While many people go speed dating with the hope of finding a romantic connection, that’s not the only potential outcome. You could also make new friends or expand your social network, which can be just as rewarding!
What happens if I’m interested in someone, but they’re not interested in me?
It can be disappointing, but remember that it’s not a reflection on your worth. Everyone has different preferences, and just because someone isn’t interested in you doesn’t mean you’re not interesting or attractive. Keep trying!
How can I avoid awkward silences?
It’s a good idea to have a few questions or conversation topics in mind before the event. You could ask about their hobbies, favorite movies, or travel experiences. Remember, the goal is to keep the conversation flowing.
What if I meet someone I really like, but I don’t hear back from them after the event?
It’s natural to feel disappointed, but it’s important not to take it personally. There could be many reasons they didn’t reach out, and it’s not necessarily a reflection on you. Keep attending events, and you’ll likely find someone who’s a great match.
I’m nervous about going to my first speed dating event. Any tips?
That’s perfectly normal! Try to view it as an opportunity to meet new people and have fun, rather than a high-pressure situation. Remember, everyone else is likely feeling the same way.
How do I avoid coming off as desperate?
Just be yourself and try not to force a connection. Let the conversation flow naturally, and remember that you’re there to get to know the other person, not to sell yourself.
Is it appropriate to talk about past relationships during a speed date?
It’s generally best to avoid this topic during a speed date. Focus on getting to know the person in front of you and discussing shared interests. There will be plenty of time to delve into past relationships once you’ve established a connection.
What if I don’t match with anyone at a speed dating event?
Don’t be disheartened! Not every speed dating event will lead to a match, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have success at future events. Keep trying, stay positive, and remember to enjoy the process.